So, we all love a picture of a new baby. And Beyonce Knowles is a babe, there's no getting past it. I did feel sad, though, when I saw this picture. I was jealous of her hair and her soft-focus photography. Her lipgloss and her manicure.
There are precisely no (as in none, zero) pictures of me with my newborn baby in hospital. I looked like shit. I'd had a rough pregnancy, i'd put on over 3 stone, partially due to SPD and partially just being prone to overeating. I was induced, I had a traumatic birth and I didn't sleep for four days. I was confused and a bit humiliated by being visited in hospital while failing to breastfeed and some other stuff that I beat myself up for. I wish I'd been able to put all those things aside and say fuck it. It doesn't matter, I love my baby and my baby loves me and I dont give a shit if I look awful. But I didn't, I hid from the cameras while all my visitors took pictures of my beautiful baby girl.
So Beyonce has a team of people who make her look beautiful all the time. Fair do's. Would she have had her picture taken anyway? Probably. That's what makes me truly jealous. Does it make her a better mum? No. I love Baba more than life itself. But work on loving myself to be a better role model for my little girl started in that hospital, whether it was documented or not.
